


i'm on a fire escape

by brokenshards



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 03:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9954401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenshards/pseuds/brokenshards
Summary: Arthur is messed up after Gwen leaves him for Lancelot, but he has Morgana there climbing his fire escape and bothering him constantly to keep him sane. They've known each other forever, and even though they drive each other nuts, they strangely need each other more than they realize. (modern au)





	

It was nearly 10 p.m. on a Friday night when a loud banging noise started on the outside of a door to a third floor flat in London. When the knocks went unanswered, a soft clicking noise replaced them, followed by a raven-haired girl storming into the apartment unannounced. From the couch, a man huffed and yelled out, "Oi! Morgana!"

The raven-haired girl, Morgana, simply grinned at him as she pulled off her knit beanie and chunky scarf and threw them over a chair.

"It's Friday," the man complained.

It was then that Morgana noticed the pretty blonde girl entangled with the man on the couch.

Looking from the blonde to Morgana, he continued, "We had a deal, remember?"

Morgana simply raised her shoulders in a shrug. "It's too cold for the fire escape tonight. And besides, I'm out of booze." She smiled widely, sweeping into the kitchen and tucking a bottle of vodka under her arm.

The blonde girl finally piped up, looking slightly stunned. "Is that your girlfriend or something?"

The man rolled his eyes at the accusation. "No."

Morgana took a long swig from the bottle, ignoring them.

The girl softened. "Oh, so is she your roommate's--"

"No," he sighed, clearly exasperated.

Morgana shook her head before heading in the direction of one of the bedrooms. Without knocking, she entered, finding a blonde man with tousled hair leaning back on his pillows.

He looked up and smiled at the sight of her. "Didn't feel like using the window tonight?"

"Figured I'd meet Gwaine's flavor of the week instead." With a flop, she fell onto the bed beside him, still cradling the vodka. She took another shot-sized gulp before holding it out as an offer. This was becoming a routine of hers, sneaking into Arthur's room.

As he took the bottle, he assessed her closely, noticing the mascara smudges and her reddened cheeks. "Rough day?"

She sighed heavily. "You know that guy I was seeing?"

Arthur stiffened at the mention, but nodded.

"The dick is married." She snatched the bottle back, drinking deep. "God, I hate men."

"Hey," Arthur cried. He lifted an eyebrow at her. "Letting you crash and drink my alcohol, doesn't that win me some points?"

"Eh," she replied.

Arthur took the bottle back playfully, before soberly commenting, "Sorry, 'Gana."

"It's fine, I'm over it," she lied.

"Sure you don't want me to kick his ass?"

"Mm, only if you ask all your football mates to join, make a real party of it."

"Of course." He grinned at her, hoping it'd be infectious. When she smiled back, he pulled out the television remote, offering, "There's a Die Hard marathon on in honor of the holidays. Might drown out Gwaine and his entertainment."

Morgana nodded eagerly. "We'll go to the coast--" she imitated, in her best Bruce Willis voice.

Arthur joined in, "Have a few laughs!"

Taking the bottle back, Morgana settled in, content for the night.

Honestly, Morgana found herself in Arthur's apartment far more than her own. She only lived across the street, but ever since her best friend Gwen had moved out, she found herself bored and lonely most of the time. Plus, she was used to being around Arthur. As much as they could annoy each other-- and to be fair, it was a lot; Morgana stormed out at least two times a week-- they had spent over half their lives together, and it was comfortable. As children, they had been neighbors, only living a few houses apart. When they were barely 10 and 11, Morgana's father had died, leaving Morgana under her older sister, Morgause's, care. However, Morgause was juggling attending university and holding down a job, so more often than not, Morgana ended up at Arthur's. Morgause hated it, and Morgana constantly fought with Arthur's father, Uther; but still, Morgana always came back.

As teenagers, Morgana rebelled and Arthur protected her-- she gave him a black eye for scaring off one of her boyfriends, but he never stopped. Of course, it led to him being drunkenly shoved into a pool and nearly drowning once-- but he can still remember the warmth of her lips on his cheek as tucked him into bed that night, her own way of apologizing.

They both ended up at the same university, where they met Gwen and all of Arthur's football friends. Morgana had dated Gwaine for all of five seconds, as was typical of his relationships. Annoyingly enough for Morgana, Arthur began dating Gwen. To make things worse, he insisted on calling her "Guinevere," and he nearly burnt down their apartment three separate times trying to cook her dinner.

It lasted through their sophomore and junior year-- Arthur even bought a ring. But then they met Lancelot, and everything changed. Lancelot was a great guy and a good friend to everyone, which only made things worse. Truthfully, Morgana wouldn't have minded if Lancelot had tried to woo her, but he only had eyes for Gwen. There was no denying the attraction between them, and the inevitable affair that followed came as no surprise-- to everyone except for Arthur. Morgana was helpless to intervene when it came to her friend's happiness, as frustrating as it was. And so it came to a cataclysmic end for all involved, with Morgana left to pick up the pieces.

Arthur had been crushed for over a month after Gwen left him-- he managed to drink nearly a whole liquor store and trashed his place thoroughly. He would've continued to spiral, but Morgana came over and dumped a bucket of ice water over his head, declaring that Percival was currently fixing his furniture, and if he broke anything else she'd never speak to him again. Though he'd mumbled something about that being a blessing, he didn't break any more of his belongings after that. Arthur refused to visit Morgana's place for a while though, since Gwen still lived there, and thus began her routine of crashing in his apartment. Gwaine moved in with him soon after, and though he was occasionally a pig, his humor and positive outlook on life were good for Arthur. He made constant jokes about the fact that he'd seen Morgana naked, however-- which led to Morgana deciding to wear nothing but an overcoat one night when she came over as a means of retaliation. She dropped it in front of Gwaine and his girl du jour, effectively ruining their date. Due to the blowout that ensued, the Friday night rule was born-- though the jokes stopped as well.

And so it was comfortable, Morgana curled up into Arthur's side, half the bottle drained between them. They knew the dark sides of each other, and there was no need for words-- just elbows in ribs and tangled feet. As the first movie neared it's end, Morgana's stomach growled loudly, breaking their peaceful silence.

"You need to feed that thing more often, it sounds angry," Arthur pointed out, never taking his eyes off the screen.

Scoffing, Morgana disentangled herself from Arthur's limbs and braved the kitchen for some popcorn. 

The ensuing screaming match could only mean that Gwaine was still annoyed about the earlier interruption to his date. After a few minutes, the noise died down, and not long after, Arthur's door opened to reveal both Morgana and his disgruntled roommate.

"His date left," Morgana said by means of explanation.

Gwaine stole the vodka off the bed and settled into the chair in the corner, still sulking. "Sometimes I wish I'd never met you two."

"I know, everyone just pales in comparison after being with me." Turning to Arthur, she added, "I've ruined him for all women."

Arthur put his hands up in the air. "Don't bring me into this."

At Gwaine's annoyed silence, Morgana grinned and crawled back up into her earlier spot on the pillows next to Arthur. After they got through several scenes in the movie, the animosity faded, and Morgana and Gwaine managed to pass the popcorn without throwing pieces at each other.

Somewhere between the multiple bowls of popcorn and the second bottle of liquor, Morgana started to lose the war against sleep, her body drained from an earlier crying session that she refused to mention to Arthur.

Arthur noticed and nudged her, his fingers tickling along her ribs. "Want me to call you a cab?"

Pressing her face against his chest, she mumbled, "Mmm yes, have them carry me down the stairs as well, would you?"

Arthur laughed, the motion shaking Morgana. "I'm sure it would make the thirty second drive seem less ridiculous in comparison."

"You'll tip them well for me."

Shaking his head, Arthur opened his mouth to reply, but Gwaine cut him off.

"She's not staying here, mate, she used all the hot water last time."

Morgana unfolded her leg, reaching out to kick Gwaine blindly. "Pretty sure if you and that obnoxious redhead hadn't decided to search for hidden treasure in there for over an hour, you would've been fine."

Arthur chuckled. "She has a point."

Gwaine rose from his seat, throwing his hands up in annoyance. "Whatever, she still better not be here eating my cereal in the morning."

As he wandered out of the room, Morgana called, "You're almost out of Lucky Charms, by the way!"

Arthur pushed himself up, forcing Morgana up with him. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

Morgana grumbled, but relaxed her fingers where they were wrapped around Arthur's t-shirt and reluctantly let him pull her off the bed. She grabbed her hat and scarf as they left the apartment, Arthur warning Gwaine not to lock him out as they shut the door.

It didn't take long to get out of the building, and Arthur was soon dragging Morgana across the street, despite her complaints that it wasn't at a crosswalk. "You're going to get me arrested for jaywalking one of these days, Pendragon."

"I know a good lawyer or two," he countered.

Morgana scoffed. "You know full well I'd go to prison before I'd let your father's firm represent me."

"Don't think they send you to prison for jaywalking, sweetheart." He drew out the last word in a sarcastic slur, the alcohol thrumming in his veins making itself known.

Morgana rolled her eyes. "Don't call me that."

Opening the door to her apartment complex, Arthur bowed and ushered her forward, "Of course, my lady, how could I forget?"

Her eyes rolled skyward once more as she shook her head, chuckling. "As far as champions go, you're a bit lackluster."

"You know you love me," he snarked, his voice thrumming with his amused satisfaction.

She scoffed, but the noise caught in her throat for some reason. She swallowed, blaming the alcohol for her brief moment of confusion. Catching the door from his hand, she pushed it back herself. "Thanks for the escort."

"Think you can make it up the stairs by yourself?" he asked, only partially kidding.

"I'm fine, Arthur." Her voice was bright, but the pain she had been pushing down the whole night seemed to swell up as she spoke. Her eyes brimmed with tears, despite the smile she had forced onto her lips.

"I can always tell when you're lying."

"Shut up." She choked out a laugh as she pushed at his shoulder, causing him to sway on his feet.

"Come here." Taking her hand from the door, he tucked it into his and pulled her back onto the street. As she gave in, he wrapped his arms around her, pressing her face to his chest.

Morgana huffed, her warm breath turning into steam in the night air as it billowed up around Arthur's neck. "Do you think we'll ever be happy?" she mused.

Arthur shushed her, running his hand soothingly down over her hair. "You're drunk and lonely, 'Gana. We've all been there; it'll get better. Promise."

"But you're not happy," she argued.

"Sure I am," he retorted, his response a bit too quick to be believable.

Morgana pulled back, causing his hand to slip down and rest heavily on the back of her neck. "Who's lying now?"

His fingers absentmindedly twisted through her hair as he sighed, his thumb brushing along her pulse. "What do you want me to say, Morgana?"

She looked away from his face, staring at the leaves on the sidewalk instead. "Nothing. Just don't promise me things you don't mean." A harsh laugh grated in her throat. "God, it's been months, Arthur, and you still don't..." She trailed off, stepping back from him.

His arms fell away as she pulled back, grabbing for the door handle. "Morgana--," he started, but the words stuck in his throat.

She shook her head, her eyes glittering with the reflection of the street lights as they caught on her unshed tears. "Don't." She wasn't sure why it bothered her so much, but she couldn't stand the false smiles any longer.

The glass doors rattled as they slammed shut, and Arthur groaned in frustration, staring after her for a moment longer before trudging back home. Gwaine had locked the door, in typical fashion, but he let Arthur in and offered him another drink only moments later.

Arthur sighed as he sunk down into the couch. "I think Morgana's mad at me."

Gwaine just laughed as he left for his bedroom for the night. "What else is new?"

\---

Morgana avoided Arthur for the next few days, out of irritation or embarrassment, she wasn't entirely sure. She had nearly decided to go climb his fire escape again when she heard a knock on her door, something unusual for her.

There was no one there when she finally reached the door, just a box left on the mat. She hadn't ordered anything, but the box had her address on the label, and she grabbed a pair of scissors as she walked back inside with the package. Slicing through the tape, the box fell open and revealed stacks of beautifully pressed paper, all inscribed with different styles of calligraphy that read the same thing: 'Save the Date.'

Gwen and Lancelot's happy faces beamed up at her in various incarnations on the notices, and Morgana sighed heavily as she dropped the cards.

Several urgent texts and a serious desire to drink later, Morgana met Gwen at the bar to return the box, her expression one of clear frustration as she sat down. She shoved the box across the bar with slightly more force than necessary.

"What is it, Morgana?" Gwen asked, knowing her friend far too well.

Morgana hummed delicately, denying her annoyance. "Thought you were getting all your mail forwarded."

Gwen nodded tersely. "Mailman must've mixed it up, sorry." Chewing on her lip, she paused for a beat. "You shouldn't have had to find out this way."

"No, I would think not, being your best friend and all." Morgana glared down at the rock on Gwen's finger, silently wondering why it made her blood boil so much.

"It all just happened so fast, and I ordered these samples on a whim, really. I was going to tell you first, I just--"

"Gwen." Morgana cut her off, not buying the excuse.

Sighing, Gwen twisted her ring on her finger, looking down at the bar top and away from Morgana's prying eyes. "I just figured, I mean, you spend all your time with him now, and I didn't want..."

"He's going to find out sometime, you know." With a bit more venom than she intended, she questioned, "Isn't it a little late to start worrying about his feelings?"

Gwen's eyes narrowed as her jaw dropped marginally, offended by her friend's tone. "I do care about him, Morgana, despite what you may think."

Morgana backed off a bit, knowing that as protective as she was, it wasn't her place. "I know. I'm not judging, but it doesn't change the fact that he does have to hear about it eventually, and preferably not from an article in the newspaper."

"I don't know how to approach him," she admitted on a heavy rush of breath. "I pass him on the train platform and he refuses to even look at me... and I figured if I told you, you wouldn't be able to keep it from him." At Morgana's look, Gwen amended, "Not that I'd ask you to." Gwen knew full well that if sides were being taken, her best friend would always choose Arthur first, despite what she may say on the contrary.

Quieter now, Morgana asked hesitantly, "Are you going to invite him to the wedding?"

Gwen laughed, short and sharply. "I have no idea. Lance wants me to, he misses him. And he is a big part of our lives, I just... he'd probably rip it up if I sent it, wouldn't he?"

Morgana noticed the pointed way Gwen avoided saying Arthur's name, they had tiptoed around it for a while now. "Arthur's a big boy, Gwen." The flinch was minimal, but visible, and it was strange how it gave Morgana a perverse sense of satisfaction to see it. "Besides, it'll be a little hard to hide when my invitation comes; assuming I am invited, that is." She glared over at Gwen, but it was mostly playful.

Scoffing, Gwen pushed at Morgana's shoulder. "I would hope so, I kind of need my best friend to stand up with me. If you're willing?"

"Oh, I'm willing. I also better be godmother to your firstborn after this slight."

Gwen's laugh was quiet, but actually held mirth behind it. "I really am sorry, Morgana."

Morgana nodded, but the sad truth of it was that things between her and Gwen hadn't been right for a while now. They hadn't spoken in weeks, and hadn't seen each other in longer than that. There had been a time, when they were roommates, that they spent nearly all their time together. For a long while, that time consisted of Gwen gushing about Arthur to extremes, and Morgana rolling her eyes because it seemed a farce, even then. Gwen would tease - _you love him, Morgana, you two are practically family_ \- and the words would sting in just all the wrong ways. When Gwen fell for Lancelot, Morgana wanted to be happy for her, but it just left her bitter and feeling strangely betrayed. Arthur had needed her, and Gwen cut her ties so easily; Morgana just let it happen.

The moment had passed, and as the awkward silence set in, Gwen sighed and slid off the stool, taking the box with her.

Morgana's hand shot out to stop her. "But you'll tell him?"

Gwen froze, her grip on the box tightening marginally. "Morgana..."

"Don't make me do it for you, Gwen."

Her voice was shaky, but she squeaked, "I'll tell him."

Morgana dropped her hand, watching the lights sparkle off the diamond ring as Gwen pulled back and turned to leave. As the chimes of the bell on the door slowly subsided Morgana let out a frustrated huff and caught the eye of the bartender. "Get me a cosmo, would you?"

\---

It had been three weeks, and Gwen still hadn't told Arthur. Morgana texted her practically daily, and at this point it had simply become two words in all caps: _TELL HIM._

Morgana had stayed away from Arthur as best as she could, but it was harder than she had thought. He had somehow become such a part of her daily routine that it took serious effort to avoid him now. She started exiting through the parking garage in the morning and taking new ways to work, which was difficult in the snow that now blanketed the city, and it was all so fucking ridiculous-- a phrase which she uttered at least five times a day.

She had to stop hanging out around her place, so she started going out with the girls from her work, even though a lot of them were seriously shallow.

Arthur hated most of Morgana's coworkers, not in small part due to the fact that he had hooked up with nearly half of them and it hadn't exactly ended well. Any of the times. So it was unlikely that he would show up at their after work happy hour spot.

Though, never one to be predictable, just as their second round of drinks arrived, Arthur made his way into the crowded restaurant. Arthur spotted a familiar blonde, and swallowing his urge to grimace, he cordially forced out a greeting to get her attention, "Vivian."

Vivian looked him up and down, and it was hard to tell if she wanted to hit him or jump him. "Arthur," she chirped. "Surprised to see you here."

Arthur coughed awkwardly. "Just looking for Morgana, have you seen her?"

Morgana heard her name from the end of the bar and groaned into her martini. Vivian was either too drunk or too oblivious to make up a lie, and before she could slip away, Arthur had taken up the bar stool next to her.

"Been a while, 'Gana. You over it yet?"

Morgana sighed and took a long sip of her drink. "It wasn't like that, Arthur."

"What was it like then?" he huffed. When she ignored his question, he tried another tack. "Not that he'd admit it, but I think even Gwaine misses you. He actually has to get rid of his dates on his own now." In an attempt to get her to look at him, he stole the olive from her drink and ate it, even though he hated olives and she knew it.

"Could we not do this, please?" she snapped.

"Do what?" At her pointed silence, Arthur sighed as deeply as she had moments before. "Look, I don't know what you want me to say. You were right, losing Guinevere fucked me up, it did, but you... _you_ make me happy, okay, and that's something--"

Morgana pulled a rumpled piece of cardstock out of her bag and pushed it in front of him, effectively stopping Arthur's speech.

Even through the wrinkles, Arthur could see the words clear enough, and he stared at it, frozen.

"She was supposed to tell you." Morgana was infuriated that Gwen had forced her into this position, but she couldn't keep quiet any longer.

Arthur nodded numbly, unable to tear his eyes away from the card.

"She was waiting for the right time, I think," Morgana defended, suddenly feeling the guilt weighing on her.

Yet another nod was the only response he gave.

Refusing to let Arthur sulk alone, Morgana caught Vivian's attention and waved her and the other girls over, who brought their drinks with them.

One of the girls, Mithian, who still liked Arthur well enough, slid a shot of tequila across the counter to him. "Figured you might need this."

Vivian spied the card and rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. "You're better looking than him anyways."

Morgana rolled her eyes, but Arthur's lip nearly turned up in a smile as he downed the shot, so she kept quiet. She waved over the bartender and ordered a round of shots for all of them.

Arthur finally picked his head up, croaking out, "Just leave the bottle."

Vivian giggled, and she pulled up a stool to settle in by Arthur.

As her coworkers all took up seats around them, Morgana tried to reach out to Arthur, to remind him that she was still there, but he pulled his arm away before she could make contact. Whether purposeful or not, Morgana retreated, downing her own shot and keeping quiet.

The girls fussed over Arthur for another hour or so, all of them now on the far end of tipsy. Eventually Arthur excused himself to the bathroom and broke free from the crowd.

Once Arthur was out of earshot, Mithian called out, "Alright, who's gonna volunteer for the pity fuck?"

Morgana nearly choked on her drink. She shook her head and abandoned her stool, trailing off after Arthur to the restrooms in the back of the bar.

The single bathroom was dimly lit, and the door creaked as Morgana locked it behind her. From her faint outline in the mirror, she could tell her makeup had begun to smudge from sweat, and she splashed her face with water. As she took a deep steadying breath, she pushed the door open, preparing herself to go back out and deal with more of Arthur's crushing depression.

Before she reached the end of the hallway, she heard what sounded like arguing coming from the men's bathroom. She stopped for a moment, hovering outside the door.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" A pause, and then, "Don't lie, you've never been good at it."

There was a dry chuckle that Morgana could almost feel rumbling in her chest as it reverberated through the wooden door. She moved closer, hearing the laugh falter. 

"Making 'Gana do your dirty work? That's low, even for you."

It was clear who was on the other side of the door, and just who he was talking to. Morgana bit her lip, debating whether she should stop Arthur from doing something he'd regret.

"Of course she told me. I still have _some_ people in my life that I can trust." A few seconds ticked by before he snapped, "Don't you dare put this on her, she was just doing what you couldn't."

Morgana's eyebrow crooked in annoyance, wondering just what her so-called best friend was saying about her.

There was that harsh laughter again. "This is just like you. You ignore things you can't deal with and hide the truth to save yourself the guilt."

Surprised by his astute comment and the confidence behind it, Morgana started to crack a smile. Maybe he wasn't as damaged as she had thought.

"I'm acting like a child?" Arthur scoffed. "You're the one lying and sneaking around _again_ \--" he stopped short, and Morgana winced.

There was a long pause, and Morgana's hand itched to reach for the doorknob.

"I deserved to know!" A loud clatter punctuated his yell as objects were clearly knocked over, the sound echoing in the small space.

There was another thump and Morgana heard more angry mumbling muffled by the wooden barrier. Suddenly, the door was flung open, and Morgana jumped back, startled. "Arthur, I--"

Anger radiated off him, his grip on the doorknob turning his knuckles white and his cheeks faintly flushed. His eyes flashed with irritation as he noticed Morgana's presence. Rather than rant at her for eavesdropping, he took several steps forward, quickly towering over her as he moved uncomfortably close. Morgana stepped backwards until she collided with the wall, the narrow hallway becoming stifling. Arthur lifted his arm and braced his hand against the wall by her head, caging her from the rest of the bar.

Swallowing hard, Morgana whispered, "Look, I didn't..." She trailed off, her words feeling meaningless.

Arthur leaned down towards her, his eyes dark in the reddish glow illuminating from the bathroom signs. His breath was hot as it fanned across her cheek, and his throat bobbed as he wet his lips. With his free hand, he trailed his fingers down her arm, and he carefully wrapped them around her wrist. Tugging her arm upwards, he pulled it to the side, pinning it against the wall as his grip tightened.

Morgana tipped her head up to meet his gaze, her nose brushing his as she moved. She could see the rage in his eyes, but deeper than that, she could see the pain he was trying so desperately to hide. "You don't scare me, Arthur." Her words vibrated against his mouth, and she could see him wavering as his jaw clenched.

A frustrated growling noise tore through him as he glared down at her. When she refused to back down, something gave way, and his hand on the wall slipped as he dropped his head to the side, burying his nose in her neck. 

She could feel his breathing quicken as he stifled his sobs. Turning her wrist from where it was still trapped, she tugged until his grip loosened. With room to move, she pulled her arm downwards to grasp his hand in hers. Sarcastically, she quipped, "You happy now?"

He laughed hollowly as he breathed in the smell of her skin. "She didn't care. Apparently she doesn't owe me anything."

Morgana laughed with him, but refused to entertain his downward spiral. "Don't go soft on me now, Pendragon. You're better than this."

Arthur lifted his head, stepping back from her. "And you're a pain in my ass." The words were harsh, but there was a hint of mirth behind them, and it was obvious that he wasn't serious.

Morgana squeezed the hand that she still held. "Hey, you're the one who said I make you happy."

Dropping their joined hands down between them, he squeezed back, smiling. "Yeah," he chuckled, "Yeah, you do. Weirdly enough."

She froze for a fraction of a second, taking in his words, before tugging on his hand. "Come on, let's get you home then."

Arthur trailed after her, only stopping long enough to grab their coats and to cash out at the bar.

Mithian gave Morgana a pointed look, and Vivian huffed in disappointment. Morgana picked up her bag, shaking her head. "Maybe next time, girls."

Two trains and a cab ride later, they reached Arthur's apartment. Arthur unlocked the door and pushed his way in, followed by Morgana, who as usual threw off her coat and made herself at home.

Gwaine was on the couch, and at the sight of Morgana, he commented on a sigh, "Great, you guys made up," his voice monotone.

Morgana stole a pillow from under him, throwing it at his head. 

\---

Arthur woke to a rapping noise on his window, to which he just rolled over, groaning, "It's open, Morgana." Things had gone back to normal between them since that night in the bar months ago, though their normal entailed a decent amount of moping from Arthur, and even more bickering from Morgana.

There was a soft swishing noise as the window opened, the cool spring breeze blowing into Arthur's room. Morgana climbed in from the fire escape, mumbling, "You know, they seriously need to fix the broken step outside 208, I nearly killed myself again."

"The fact that you have the apartments memorized is scary, 'Gana," Arthur grumbled, his face still pressed into his pillow.

She shrugged as she jumped down from the sill, shutting the window behind her. "When money gets tight, I can resort to cat burglary."

Arthur nodded into his pillow, refusing to move. Ever since it had gotten warmer, Morgana was climbing the staircase more frequently, except for the occasional Fridays that she used the door out of spite, of course. While he was accustomed to her visits, early on Saturday morning was not his favorite.

Morgana climbed onto the bed, pulling herself up to sit cross-legged next to Arthur's head. "How long do you think I need to hide here before the guy in my apartment gives up and leaves?"

At that, Arthur finally pulled himself out of the pillow, glaring up at Morgana. "I'm not scaring this one off, get Gwaine to do it."

Morgana huffed. "This is your fault though, I had to endure that ridiculous party last night by myself, what else was I supposed to do?"

"I dunno, not take a random guy home?" Arthur retorted.

Groaning, she lowered herself back against the headboard. "I thought a hen-do was supposed to be fun, but it was seriously boring."

"You agreed to be a bridesmaid," Arthur pointed out, enjoying her irritation.

Morgana narrowed her eyes at him. "And you hate me for it, I know."

"Not hate, just extreme loathing," he joked.

Pushing him over onto his back, she settled on the bed next to him, stretching out her legs. "So have you decided yet?"

Giving up on the hope of more sleep, Arthur disentangled himself from the covers and got out of bed, slipping on a white t-shirt he found hanging off his dresser. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Morgana rolled her eyes, taking up his abandoned pillow as she made herself comfortable. "Don't play dumb, you're not that blonde. The invitation that you have stuffed in the bottom of your sock drawer, have you made a decision?"

Arthur sighed but didn't answer her.

Morgana rolled her eyes, but let him take his time. "I have to go pick up my dress today. It's pink, which is so not my color." She let out a dramatic rush of breath. "I'm going to look like an Easter egg."

"Maybe that was the point."

Morgana leaned over and started rifling through Arthur's bedside table. "Probably. Gwen's my friend and all, but she has terrible taste."

"In clothes or men?" he snarked, and Morgana jerked up from the drawer, her jaw dropping as she laughed.

"Careful now, I think I'm starting to rub off on you." She tossed a stray pen at him, which he caught deftly. "Though you do realize you just insulted yourself, right?"

Arthur threw the pen back and watched as it bounced off her shoulder. "Guess I still have a bit to learn."

"Well then, you should probably spend as much time with me as possible. Say at a particularly pink and frilly event coming up?"

Arthur tugged on some sweatpants, yet again ignoring her question as he pulled open his bedroom door.

Getting off the bed, Morgana begrudgingly followed Arthur into the kitchen. "It's in two weeks, Arthur."

Arthur grabbed his cereal from the shelf, pouring himself a bowl, and without looking back at Morgana, finally muttered, "I'm aware."

Morgana huffed angrily, storming back down the hall. She arrived at the second bedroom and pounded on the door. "Get up!"

A tousled head of brown hair poked through the door, followed by a hand angrily swatting at Morgana to get her to move. "Fucking hell, Morgana, one of these days--"

Morgana grabbed him by the shoulder and hauled him out of his room. "Yes, yes, you'll do lots of horrible things to me, I got it. Now please tell your friend that he has to make a decision about the you-know-what and he has to do it soon."

Gwaine snatched the orange juice from Arthur's hand as he entered the kitchen and drank a long swig from the carton, much to the disgust of Morgana. As he finished, he wiped his mouth and shoved the carton back at Arthur. "She may drive me nuts, but she does have a point. For once in her miserable life."

Morgana kicked the back of Gwaine's knee and caused him to stumble, smiling beatifically at Arthur all the while.

Arthur put the now contaminated orange juice back in the fridge. "Look, I get that you guys want me to decide, but I can't yet, alright? I don't know if I can stomach it."

Morgana exchanged a look with Gwaine, both of them tired of the excuses. "Fine, but you're going to have to deal with it eventually. One way or another." She snorted lightly as she finished, but she transferred her irritation easily, a skill she had long ago mastered when dealing with Arthur. "Gwaine, go get dressed, would you? We have to pick up your tux in the next hour."

"We?" Gwaine squeaked, his mouth now full of the half of Arthur's toast he had stolen.

"Yes, we. Someone has to help me try on that pink monstrosity, and if Arthur is still sulking, then it's your job."

Gwaine cut his eyes at Arthur. "Thanks a lot, mate."

Morgana shoved him towards his room, not caring whether or not he wanted to come with her. Turning back to Arthur, she gave him a pointed look before returning to harass Gwaine.

Arthur tossed his cereal bowl into the sink, blowing out a forced breath of air as he braced his hands on the counter.

Making their way into his room, Morgana plopped onto Gwaine's messy unmade bed as he stepped into his closet. "I'm right about this. He needs to make a choice."

Gwaine grumbled, "Yes, I know."

Leaning back on her elbows, she flung a dirty shirt on the floor off of her shoe with a kick. "I only want what's best for him. He needs to move on, to prove that he's over her."

"Yes, I know."

"I just think--" She started.

Gwaine, half-naked, poked out of the closet and snapped, "I swear, it's a miracle Arthur's still sane with you around. He'll move on when he moves on, okay?" He pulled on a navy long sleeved shirt, flipping his hair as he adjusted the fabric.

Morgana huffed and sat up to pick at her nails. "Fine. Hurry up though, we have to get rid of something in my apartment before we go."

Gwaine groaned in exasperation. "Just because you deem it your job to scare off my dates does not mean this is our _thing_ ," he grumbled to himself.

\---

Two weeks came and went, and all of sudden, it was the night of the wedding. Morgana had to spend the day with Gwen and the other girls, getting their hair and make-up done-- all things Morgana preferred to do herself, but she had no choice in the matter.

Arthur still hadn't told anyone a definitive yes or no, though Morgana knew there was still a place setting with his name that Lancelot had refused to let Gwen remove. As Morgana downed her third mimosa and waited for her nails to dry, she heard the slight ping of her phone and carefully pulled the device out of her robe's pocket. The message was from Gwaine, and her heart sank marginally before she even opened it. It was short, simply: _he's not coming._

Morgana threw her phone into her bag, refusing to think about why it bothered her so much that he wouldn't come, and instead focused on getting through the day.

Gwen's friend, Elena, helped Morgana into her dress, all the while gushing about how great she looked. Morgana rolled her eyes, but thanked the girl regardless. She felt ridiculous, and as the zipper strained to reach the top, she realized the dress had been taken in a bit too much, leaving it hard for her to breathe properly. The shoes pinched her heels and she felt like she was in a corset, but she swiped on a darker shade of lipstick and put on her favorite gold necklace, keeping her head high as she walked out for the pictures.

When the ceremony started, Gwen's brother, Elyan, escorted Morgana down the aisle. Morgana saw Gwaine in the third pew back and he gave her a small smile, which she returned. Elyan kissed her cheek as he released her arm, and she took her place up on the altar.

Lancelot looked nervous, but as soon as the music started to swell, his face broke into a grin that outshone all the lanterns hanging around them.

Gwen looked beautiful, her simple mermaid gown clinging in all the right places, her curls pinned back, and her veil flowing gracefully down her back. Morgana felt a rush of emotion at the sight, her eyes pricking with tears unexpectedly. She had been so wrapped up in Arthur's pain that she had missed how happy her friend was, and how good this was for her. The ceremony was short and sweet, and Gwen was glowing from sheer bliss as they left for the reception. 

Morgana caught sight of Gwaine chugging beers in the parking lot as the bridal party's car pulled up, and she yelled out the window, "You do know it's an open bar, right?"

He shrugged, only looking slightly sheepish before finishing off the can in his hand.

Morgana shook her head as she got out of the car, her heels slipping slightly on the gravel. The hall inside was decorated with lights and covered in pink and gold, giving the whole place a fairytale feel. The DJ announced the bridal party, and as soon as she was able to break free, Morgana found the bar.

She was happy for Gwen, but the love haze was wearing off, and she was left feeling bitter. Percival was twirling Elena as they crossed the floor, and Elyan was laughing happily with his sister at the head table. Morgana told the bartender to make her a shot, anything they wanted, just make it strong. She soon garnered a crowd of people, some willing to try out the mysterious shots with her, some just enjoying the show. Several shots in, she felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned around to find Gwaine beckoning her to the dance floor.

"Come on, Morgie, out you get." He tugged her by the hand, pulling her away from the bar.

Morgana's nose crumpled in disgust. "Gwaine, literally no one calls me that."

Gwaine shrugged, forcing her out onto the dance floor. "Stop wallowing, have some fun."

Morgana kicked off her shoes and allowed him to spin her around a few times, the alcohol warming her skin as it settled in her stomach. She had taken up a spot in a dancing circle with several other girls when she heard a collective gasp from the crowd. She caught Elena's eyes and saw the blonde motion toward the doorway.

Morgana turned and spotted a silhouette framed by the bright light streaming through the open doors. As the doors closed, the twinkling lights cast a glow on the sides of his face, and Morgana smirked in satisfaction as she recognized him. 

Arthur stood at the end of the hall, his white shirt under his blazer unbuttoned at the top and lacking a tie, clearly a sign of his last minute decision. His entrance caught the attention of most of the guests, and Morgana waited patiently as he walked up to Gwen and Lancelot.

Arthur congratulated them, and while Lancelot appeared to be thrilled, Gwen looked shell-shocked. Lance pulled Arthur in for a hug, clapping him on the back before releasing him and passing him a glass of champagne.

From across the room, Morgana saw Arthur whisper something to Gwen, and she flushed, smiling at him. She was clearly uncomfortable, but Arthur looked confident, and dare she say, happy, as he pulled away, taking his glass with him to his seat.

Morgana swept across the dance floor, her skirt trailing across the ground without her shoes giving her the added height. She painted on her classic smirk again as she took her seat next to Arthur, dropping her gold heels to rest under her chair. "So," she stated, still smirking at him.

"So." He rallied back, meeting her eyes. 

"You couldn't even manage a tie?" she jabbed, reaching out to flick his collar with her fingers.

He cut his eyes at her, but there was no malice in his stare. "Didn't want to show you up by looking too good," he joked.

Morgana laughed and sat back in her chair, sipping at the champagne left at her seat. "How kind of you."

Arthur cocked his head and surveyed her carefully, taking in the bits that were clearly flourishes of Gwen, and the bits that were purely Morgana. "The pink monstrosity isn't nearly as bad as you said. You actually look nice."

Morgana scoffed and shoved his knee with her bare foot. "Did you take a Valium before you came or something?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "You never could take a compliment."

She lifted and eyebrow and tilted her head, retorting, "I know when I look good, I don't need you to tell me."

Arthur laughed to himself, taking a sip of his champagne. His eyes caught the movement of Gwen's dress in his peripheral, and his gaze wandered for a moment. He didn't smile, but his eyes held less sadness than before and his neck muscles weren't nearly as tense, as though there wasn't the same weight holding him down anymore.

Morgana watched him, and she reached out to rest a hand on his knee. "I'm glad you came."

His eyes snapped back to Morgana, the hints of a smile forming at the corners of his mouth. The tinkling of forks on glass interrupted them, and the music died down as the DJ announced the time for speeches.

Morgana grabbed Arthur's hand, pulling him to the bar. "Come on, I love Percy, but he's not exactly a wordsmith, and I have a feeling we're gonna need some more alcohol."

After multiple drinks and several long speeches later, the party moved out onto the dance floor, minus Arthur and Morgana, who stayed camped at their table.

Sighing heavily, Morgana watched Gwen swirl prettily around the dance floor and let her head fall into her hand. Musing out loud, she asked Arthur, “Do you think it would be pathetic of me if I got wasted and hooked up with Gwaine?”

Disinterestedly, Arthur replied, “You already are wasted. And he brought a date.”

“Percival, then?”

Arthur finally stopped daydreaming and turned to look at her. “Honestly, Morgana.”

Morgana met his disapproving stare and giggled drunkenly as she broke out of her mood. "Fine then, but I'm not sitting here and pouting." She got up from her seat, joining the crowd where they were all dancing.

Morgana had never been an especially talented dancer, but she was definitely sensual, and she knew how to draw attention to herself. Her hair was pinned half back, and she pushed her hands through the loose curls left resting on her shoulders as she swayed with the beat, her dance moves way hotter than most respectable bridesmaids. Gwaine raised his eyebrows in appreciation, while the blonde on his arm glared in annoyance. Everyone had soon made a circle around Morgana, and that included all the drunken men.

Arthur ignored it for several songs, letting her have her fun, but someone must've gotten too handsy, because he heard Gwaine call out, "Oi! Back off!"

Morgana had kneed whoever it was before Arthur could reach her, but as he approached the hunched over idiot, Arthur hauled off and punched him, shoving the guy back onto his ass for good measure.

It caught Gwen's attention and her brow furrowed at Arthur's actions briefly, but Lancelot's hand at her back brought her focus back to him. The guest who had been assaulted waved everyone off, drunkenly stumbling across the floor.

While the guy was escorted out by several groomsmen, Arthur took up his position next to Morgana, his hands clasping at her waist as the tempo picked back up again.

"You hate dancing," Morgana pointed out, feeling irritated with him for some reason.

Arthur's fingers tightened on the gauzy pink material as he pulled her closer to him, letting her set the pace and following her rhythm the best he could. He looked around the room over her shoulder, his expression cold. "These guys are fucking vultures," he mumbled.

Morgana rolled her eyes, but threw her arms around his neck and started rocking her hips against his. "You shouldn't have--" She was hit with a wave of dizziness as she spoke. The adrenaline rush was wearing off, and the excess of alcohol was leaving her feeling uncomfortably hot. She shook her head, blinking as she tried to get air into her lungs. "You don't have to protect me."

He stilled, his grip loosening on her hips as he noticed her discomfort. "Morgana?"

His hands were running up and down her back now, and Morgana picked her head up to meet his gaze. "You're not my brother, and I'm not your damn girlfriend, why do you--" Her head was spinning, and the dress was too tight, she couldn't get enough air.

Arthur brought a hand up to cup her cheek, trying to get her to focus. "What's wrong?"

Morgana pushed him off, stepping away from him. "I can't breathe," she gasped. The braces in the dress felt like they were squeezing the life out of her. "I can't... I..." Without finishing, she ran out of the hall, the doors slamming shut behind her.

"Morgana!" Arthur yelled, taking off after her. He saw her duck into a room and entered the spacious coat closet behind her, finding her desperately tugging at her dress.

"This fucking dress," she was clawing at it, ready to tear it off. "It's suffocating me."

"'Gana, stop," Arthur tried.

"Get it off me!" She grabbed him by the arms as he tried to stop her. "Get it off!"

Arthur caught her wrists in one hand to stop her flailing, and found the zipper with the other, tugging it down to open the back of the dress.

Morgana took a deep breath, her chest heaving as she wriggled her way out of the dress, kicking it in a heap on the floor as it slid off her body. She was left in her black strapless bra and lacy underwear, her wrists still caught in Arthur's grip.

For a few agonizing seconds he felt like he was the breathless one. He tried to look anywhere other than her body as he lamely tried to apologize for earlier. "Morgana, about what you said back there... I don't know why I always have to--" Arthur started, his throat getting dry.

"Stop," she ordered, her voice quiet and breathy as she got air back in her lungs. "I'm not her, you know that, right?"

He blinked, confused. "Look, Morgana, I just want--"

"Want what?" His fingers were still biting at her wrists, and she shook her head to get her hair out of her eyes. "I thought you coming tonight meant you were past it, that you were past her."

His jaw fell slack, and he couldn't find the right words. "What does that have to do with anything?" he snapped, his eyes following the red flush blooming on her chest as she got angrier.

Huffing, Morgana tried to free her hands, but he held tighter. "Forget it, I'm drunk, alright? I'm not her, I don't even want to be, and I can't just--"

"Can't? Since when do you use that word?" He pulled her closer as he taunted her.

Her temper flaring, she shook her arms in his grip. "God, Arthur, could you open your eyes for once in your fucking life? I can't _wait_ , okay, I can't wait for you to--"

Tugging sharply on her arms, he yanked her to him, cutting off her rant as he covered her mouth with his. Morgana was too shocked to fight back, and as his fingers relaxed their hold, she brought her hand up to grab him by the neck, sinking into the kiss.

Arthur walked her backwards through the racks of coats until her back hit a wall. His hands roamed down her body as she scratched at his neck, her fingers pushing at his coat until he shrugged it off his shoulders, letting it fall on the ground to join her dress.

She bit down on his lip as he lifted her up to wrap her legs around his waist, causing him to chuckle as he took a breath between kisses. Pulling him back in, she kissed him even harder, moaning softly as his hands slid over her breasts.

As she reached down to fumble at his belt buckle, Arthur stumbled and knocked into a coat rack. Morgana dismounted, bobbing her head to catch his bottom lip between hers as she pulled back. "Here," she whispered, leading him to the chaise set up in the corner. She had already pulled his shirt most the way open, and he undid his belt and the buttons on his pants before kissing her again, tipping her back to lay on the chaise.

Morgana's legs hung off the end, and she pulled them up to cradle his body as he stretched over her, his arm still wrapped under her back. He kissed the sides of her face before she caught his lips once more, and he had to brace himself on his elbow so he wouldn't crush her.

Breaking through the haze induced by their feverish kissing, Morgana reached down to grasp at the back of his thighs, spurring him on faster. As he pushed inside her, Morgana's ears started ringing, and the colors on the coats around them began to blur before she shut her eyes, enjoying the moment.

Time seemed to slow as Morgana's fingers slid through Arthur's hair and twisted in the strands, mirroring him as he cradled her head gently, kissing his way down her neck.

It was different than she expected, but as Arthur rocked against her, lifting her up with his arm as her back arched, she couldn't imagine anything better. When Arthur thrust deeper, the backs of Morgana's eyelids sparked with bright green lights, and she screamed out something unintelligible.

Somewhere between Arthur's grunts and her sighs, another voice echoed through the noise. It seemed vaguely familiar, and somewhat smug, but the green lights had left spots across Morgana's vision and she couldn't see. With the way Arthur scrambled off of her, she assumed whoever it was wasn't leaving, though she was too drunk and too blissed-out to care.

There was laughter, and Morgana felt the weight of a coat being thrown over her as Arthur mumbled something angrily. Morgana tried to sit up, but the world spun, and she managed to whisper, "Arthur," before blacking out, falling back onto the couch.

\---

The next morning Morgana woke up wrapped in a stranger's coat and on a couch she didn't recognize.

A blonde girl came out from the kitchen, and startled upon noticing Morgana was awake.

Morgana sat up, the coat slipping down to reveal her bare shoulder. She recognized the blonde as Gwen's friend. "What happened?" she muttered, her mouth dry.

Giving her an awkward smile, Elena brought a glass of water from the counter over to her. "You had a bit too much to drink, I suppose."

Morgana's throbbing head seemed to support that fact, and she winced as she took a drink of water.

Elena continued, "I think you passed out in a closet."

Setting down the water, Morgana coughed before asking, "How'd I get here?"

"Percival carried you out, thankfully. I found your keys, but we-- well, we didn't think you should be left alone, so I brought you here."

Morgana noticed her bag resting in the chair near them, though her dress must've been lost. Her memory was slowly coming back to her, and the first thought in her mind spurred her to murmur, "Arthur?"

Elena's smile was slightly sad as she turned back towards the kitchen. "No one saw him much after the altercation in the main hall. I guess he must've left."

Morgana couldn't tell whether Elena was lying or not, but she pulled the coat tighter around her body in a protective move and stood up from the couch. She made her way over to her bag and fished around in it until she found her phone. There were several texts and missed calls, but none from Arthur.

Gwaine had texted her most recently, asking: _you alive?_

Morgana replied sarcastically: _Since when do you care?_

The toaster made a popping noise, and soon after Elena brought a bagel out to Morgana. "I have some clothes that might fit, if you want."

Morgana nodded politely. "Thanks." As Elena walked away, Morgana's phone dinged again.

Gwaine had responded: _just wanted to make sure you were ok is all_

Morgana quickly sent back: _Fine, a bit hungover. Have you heard from Arthur?_

There was no response for a few minutes, and Morgana chewed on the edge of her bagel while she waited impatiently. Elena made her way out of her room with a shirt and some exercise pants.

Morgana smiled and took the clothes, although she never would normally wear anything like them, but it beat wearing a stranger's coat, so she went to the bathroom and changed.

The bagel was finished and the plate cleaned before Morgana's phone finally got another text. Gwaine was normally blunt, but for some reason the short message stung this time, and Morgana had to read the words multiple times. All it said was: _he's fine._

She thanked Elena again and called a cab, eager to get home all of a sudden.

\---

It had taken hours and a long hot shower, but Morgana had finally gained the courage to call Arthur. He didn't answer, not the first time, nor the next few times over the following week. If it hadn't been for Gwaine's vague text, Morgana would've assumed Arthur had either gone off the grid or died in a ditch somewhere. The second option was sounding appealing at this point, and Morgana finally texted him: _What the fuck is going on?_

He still didn't respond, and in a fit of anger, Morgana pulled on a jacket and left her apartment to confront him. She quickly crossed the street and climbed the fire escape up to the third floor, remembering at the last second to avoid the broken step.

The room appeared dark as she reached the platform, and the window was uncharacteristically locked. Not one to give up though, Morgana banged on it for at least five minutes straight until a light came on inside the room.

Moments later, the curtains were pulled back and the window flew open, revealing an angry Irishman. He sighed loudly, "I figured you'd show up eventually."

At Morgana's withering glare, he pulled his head back in, beckoning, "Come on in then, I'll make us drinks."

Morgana hopped over the window sill, shutting it behind her out of habit. Gwaine had already made his way out to the kitchen, and he had a drink made by the time Morgana reached the couch.

Gwaine sat down beside her, letting her take a drink before telling her, "He's not here, hasn't been in a few days. He's staying with some bloke named Merlin or something."

Morgana took a large swallow of her drink, her previous anger fading into a defeated sense of sadness. "Why?"

He shrugged. "To stay away from you, I guess."

"You're an ass," she snapped.

"Yes, but at least I'm here, unlike him."

The truth of his words cut at her, and she took a deep breath to calm herself. She remembered being interrupted that night, and she knew there was no point to avoid it any longer. "You know, don't you."

It wasn't a question, but Gwaine nodded all the same. "Figured it was bound to happen sooner or later. Just didn't expect Arthur to lose it like he did." Morgana did that thing with her eyebrow that meant she wasn't satisfied, and Gwaine continued. "After you passed out, he freaked out like you had died or something. He couldn't get it together, and while I was busy trying to get your drunk ass home, he took off."

Annoyance bubbled to the surface, and she huffed, "What is his issue? We had sex, he doesn't have to act like it's the end of the world."

Gwaine laughed before he could stop himself, which earned him a dark look from Morgana. "You don't get it, do you? He had sex with _you._ "

"I swear, Gwaine, if you make some joke about me being a bad lay, I will hurt you in ways you can't even imagine."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "We both know you're good in the sack, as much as it pains me to admit. That's not what I meant."

Morgana softened, letting him finish.

"You're the one thing in his life that matters to him, Morgana." Noticing that she was about to protest, he continued, "He was a zombie after Gwen, but when you started climbing through his window, something changed. He leaves that thing unlocked all the time, just hoping you'll show up."

"Well he doesn't want that now, obviously," she commented bitterly.

"If you want my opinion--"

"I don't," she interrupted.

He continued despite her wishes. "I think he's just terrified that he's fucked it all up. He's worried about losing you for good-- though personally, I don't know why that'd bother him so much."

Morgana gave him a look like it was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard and chugged the rest of her drink. She pulled a face at the burning sensation in her throat as it went down, but shook her head to clear it. "You have no clue what you're on about, do you?"

"Fine, don't believe me." He turned away from her, settling back into the cushions and flicking on the television in a dismissive display.

Morgana got up from the couch, feeling even more frustrated than she had been when she arrived. She headed towards Arthur's room to go back out the window, but before she could reach the door, she heard Gwaine call out to stop her.

"Pretty sure Merlin lives in Lance's old building. Just in case you care."

She crawled back outside and left the window open on purpose.

\---

Morgana was slowly becoming an alcoholic, drinking on a Sunday afternoon. She hadn't worked up the courage to go over to this Merlin's place, but she had tried texting Arthur once more. It wasn't what she wanted, but she told him: _If you want me to to forget all about it, I will._ She wasn't expecting a response, but that didn't stop her from looking at her phone every few minutes-- hence the day drinking.

Gwen was coming home from her honeymoon today, and she called Morgana once she was back in the country. Without sharing all the details, Morgana told Gwen about how Arthur was avoiding her.

"You should go see him," Gwen advised.

"You don't get it, Gwen."

Laughter tinkled through the phone line. "You know, I think I do. I saw how he looked at you at the wedding."

Morgana sighed. "No, Gwen, it wasn't--"

"I used to be jealous of you, did you know that? I tried to tell myself that he saw you like a sister, but he never did." A short burst of almost sardonic laughter followed, before Gwen let out a loud breath. "He's always loved you best."

Morgana had to get off the phone soon after, unable to hear Gwen's tales of honeymoon joy when she was so torn up inside.

The sun had started to go down by the time she had decided to track down Arthur, whether he wanted it or not. In a pathetic move, she had texted Lancelot for an address, though she had begged him not to tell his wife. She pulled on a pair of boots and braided her messy hair. It took her four stops and a transfer on the train, but she finally reached the nearest stop to the building. It was pouring rain by the time she got out of the station, but she didn't care.

Her dress was soaked by the time she reached her destination, and her hair was all falling out of her braid. She couldn’t focus on that now though, all that mattered was finding him.

By this point, she had broken the hair ties holding her braid, leaving her long raven locks out to stick to her face as the rain continued. She ran inside the building and took the elevator to the room she so desperately wanted to reach.

After profusely banging on the door, she resigned herself to the fact that he wasn’t there. She let out a sigh and turned away, only to hear someone call her name.

"Morgana?"

She turned around to see a man with dark hair and green eyes, with ears that slightly stuck out in an endearing way.

"Are you Morgana?" he asked.

She nodded, and he motioned for her to come inside. When she got in the flat, she noticed the man she assumed was Merlin point to a bedroom door down the narrow hallway. "He's in there."

Morgana strode over to the door and opened it without knocking. Arthur stood there shirtless, messy, and looking beyond confused. He often was confused though, so it wasn’t really new. "What are you doing here?"

Walking over to poke him in the chest, she fumed, "I lied, alright? I can't forget about it, and if you're going to ignore me forever, I deserve to know why."

Arthur blinked, trying to regain his focus. "You shouldn't have come here."

She made a loud noise of disgust. "What choice did I have? You left your own flat to avoid me!"

He ran his fingers through his hair, a nervous habit. "I was just trying to give it some time, I didn't want--"

"What? What'd you think I was going to do, Arthur? I'm not some crazy girl you met at a bar; you can't just blow me off and hope I go away."

He looked everywhere in the room but at her. "I didn't want you to go away, 'Gana, I didn't know what to do."

"Well for starters, you could've picked up the damn phone. Whether you like it or not, we slept together, Arthur." At his grimace, she bit, "I woke up on a random couch in freaking Kensington and you couldn't bother to even check up on me. The person who used to track me down in the middle of night when I broke curfew, couldn't even manage a text."

"I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice breaking.

When he still refused to look at her, Morgana turned away from him, pacing across the room. "Look, I should've known better. You were at Gwen's wedding, you were clearly messed up. But even if it was just a drunken mistake you could tell me, you didn't have to cut me out!"

Arthur's hand shot out to grab Morgana as she walked past, stilling her movements. "It wasn't--" He dropped his hand, shutting his eyes as he made a frustrated noise deep in his throat. "I don't know how to be around you anymore."

Morgana forced out a surprised puff of air. "So you'd rather not see me at all?"

"I don't... I don't know," he admitted.

Morgana took a step back, her eyes wide. "Well let me make it easy for you. You can come back home, I won't bother you anymore."

"Morgana..." He began, but he couldn't find the right words.

As she stormed out, she yelled, "Yeah, and you can tell the people in 208 that they can go fuck their broken step, I won't be using the fire escape anymore."

Merlin looked stunned as his front door slammed shut.

\---

Morgana stayed true to her word, and she heard from Gwaine a few days later that Arthur had come home. She nearly cried when she found out, screaming into her pillow until she released the tension.

She didn't want to talk to Gwaine anymore either, but he still tried, and he cornered her out at the bar. His brogue stood out in the crowd, but it was too packed for her to give up her seat just to avoid him.

When he came up behind her, first it was to rant at her, complaining about how Arthur was miserable and it was all her fault.

"He did it to himself," she argued.

Gwaine groaned. "If you came back, he'd let it go. He's doing this ridiculous silent routine rather than complain about how much his misses you, and I'm tired of it."

"Why should I care?"

Unable to hide his irritation, he growled, "Because you love him, damn it!"

As obnoxious as it was, a part of her knew it was true. It wasn't her choice, though, and Arthur had made his decision. Gwaine eventually gave up, and Morgana went home slightly drunk once again.

It was just warm enough for a summer storm, and the lightning crackled as Morgana crawled into bed that night. Before long, the wind started rattling her windows, and she forced herself to get up to check that everything was secure.

When she reached the window, a bolt of lightning illuminated the sky, revealing the shape of a person outside her window. Morgana gasped loudly, dropping her hold on the string that operated her blinds as she jumped.

Arthur was sitting out on the very narrow set of stairs that constituted as her fire escape. Her stairs weren't nearly as nice as Arthur's, and he looked quite precarious out there.

Morgana pulled open the window hesitantly, the burst of wind that came in chilling her in her flimsy pajamas. He looked pitiful, but she still cut her eyes at him. "Have you completely lost your mind?"

He chuckled softly. "You know, I think I might have."

There was a clap of thunder preceding the clouds bursting, spattering rain drops on Arthur's coat. Morgana didn't make any moves to let him in, instead bracing her hands on the sill to block his entrance. "What do you want, Arthur?"

He shook his head, the raindrops in his hair falling onto his face. "I've been an idiot."

As the rain started hitting her knuckles, she pulled her hands back, crossing her arms over her chest. "No argument here."

Arthur sighed. "I was afraid that things would change between us, that you'd see me differently. And then all I could imagine was you leaving me, and I couldn't stand that thought."

"Things have changed, Arthur; but you're the one who did the leaving," she pointed out, still angry at him.

He laughed harshly, nodding. "You're right. I can't go back, but I know that I need you in my life, however you'll have me."

"Do you regret it?" she asked.

"Leaving you? Morgana, obviously I--"

She stopped him, holding up her hand. "No. Do you regret what happened? Because I told you before, I don't think I can just ignore it."

Arthur dropped his head, his blonde hair now brown from the rain. "Morgana..."

"Things are different, Arthur. We're not the same messed up kids we were once upon a time, but I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere."

He lifted his head to meet her eyes, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "No, I don't regret it." On a laugh, he shrugged his shoulders, murmuring, "How could I? I love you too damn much."

Morgana's arms slowly uncrossed, her jaw only slightly agape. "Arthur Pendragon, I swear if you're screwing with me--"

He laughed again, this time with more mirth. "I love you, 'Gana. I don't know why I ever doubted it."

She stood there silent for a moment, and at his look, she quipped, "I'm not saying it back."

Arthur rolled his eyes, surging forward to grab her by the back of the neck, tugging her through the window.

He pulled her closer, and she felt warmth spreading through her body as his lips met hers. The feeling was familiar, but as his lips moved slowly over hers, it seemed like something had shifted between them, and Morgana smiled into the kiss.

Lightning shot through the sky again, and the thunder that followed shook the fire escape with the vibrations. Morgana pulled back from his lips and tipped her head in the direction of the window, signaling that they should go inside. "Don't think this means I forgive you yet."

Arthur grinned at her. "Not my fault that your fire escape is a death trap."

She found herself reluctantly smiling back. "Couldn't make it easy on you."

"You know, your fourth floor neighbor has a broken step," he joked. "They should fix that."

Morgana laughed softly, "They really should." She pulled him inside, though as his foot reached the hardwood, his shoe slipped. He tripped, falling on her and causing them both to topple over onto the floor.

From his spot on top of her, Arthur pushed himself up onto his elbows and smiled down at her. "You love me," he taunted, bending down to kiss her again.

As she broke the kiss, she mumbled, "You're still an idiot."

Whispering against her lips, he agreed, "Yeah, I know."

"But we can work on it."


End file.
